And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
