my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
