how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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