that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize