READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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