Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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