scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
