I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
3 2 1 whiskey
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
