i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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