I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
