are you still at the devil's house?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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