I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
