I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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