omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize