Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
