They should really pass out barf bags in church
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize