She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
