you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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