I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
