I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
