I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
