NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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