I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
