My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
