he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
