smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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