he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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