last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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