So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
