Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He did a backflip because drugs
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