D3 body, D1 cock
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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