You made me cry and you don't even care
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she looked like the before picture.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
