OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
