just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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