I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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