I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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