Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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