so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
do herpes really smell.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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