I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
