How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
