My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
