well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
