i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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