i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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