i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This is my gift to your gina
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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