yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You ruined the universe
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
