so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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