I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
