It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
