She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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