i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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