Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize