It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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