Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
