I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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