Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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