My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
