Are we in a gay sports bar?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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