Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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