What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
