you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
