"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
