i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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