Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
