he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
