What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
